Jenn Jones - heart words

lately, for some reason, i've been feeling pressured to be generating work like a well oiled machine. and i'm not a machine at all. i like to put my heart in my work. this pressure i'm putting on myself is overstimulating my heart, and making it hurt. and when my heart hurts, my work sucks. so i've been trying to listen to my heart. and just get some ideas out without any expectations.

when i feel tired yet continue to go on, i wonder what's pushing me. and what's organizing the turn of events around me. and i know its all the hands of God. when i'm drained i wonder where i get any positive voice from. and i know its the voice of God. no matter how badly i feel, i know that i'm a living thing made in the image of something very great. its in my veins and i reflect its light. a lot like how the moon reflects the sun. it feels natural.

i feel vulnerable centering my art around these feelings, especially for thesis, but a part of me knows we all feel strongly. and one of us is going to have to be vulnerable every now and then. and i really want to say these things.

my feelings about relying on God when i feel defeated coexist with the doctrine of 'sola fide', which is latin for 'by faith alone'. this doctrine stands for justification by faith alone, meaning we are not forgiven by our works, but by our faith in Jesus. here's a quote by theologist G.C. Berkouwer about it; “The confession of divine justification touches man’s life at its heart, at the point of its relationship to God. It defines the preaching of the Church, the existence and progress of the life of faith, the root of human security, and man’s perspective for the future.”<link>. i found the phrase 'sola fide' in an old journal of mine, written while listening to a sermon that was really filling my heart. i feel like there's harmony in the room whenever someone talks fondly of God.

i'm thinking about show titles. sola reminds me of 'sol', the latin word for sun. i thought it would be cool to replace the word with that, or the latin word for moon 'luna'. (i'm so annoying about latin. can you tell i took it in high school?)



sometimes i feel like the work i want to do is bigger than myself. and it makes me want to stop. but why would the work want me to do that? i'm going to persevere. and make something. and take what i have. and maybe i'll have another mental breakdown in the middle of class (lol sorry). but i have something i want to say. and i'll get it out somehow, with some help.

i want the rest of my work to emerge from this honesty. i feel so strongly at this point there's no turning back. it's really time for me to turn these thoughts into final products. i'm almost done this screen print:



and i know i want that in my show. so there's one piece almost down!

i also want to screen print a sports banner with MOONLIGHT written on it. maybe i can do that tonight. though i've been working on that ^ candle print so much this week, i pulled a muscle in my neck. so i need to be careful while screen printing. haha.